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I don’t know what happened to me lately.
I’ve got just too much to bear.
Yeah… I’m in deep shit. Guess what? I’ve completely let go my notion of getting involved in a relationship after that De De’s incident and the next thing I know, someone asked me out for a date.
Few days ago, I went out with Sky for dinner right after my meeting with my ex-colleagues in Mid Valley. I have much decided that I’m no longer interested to be with anyone. He made me realize something that I haven’t thought of.. COMMITMENTS…???
The very next day, someone whom I knew for the past 2 years, has again asked me out for a date. Haha… yeah.. I’ve rejected his request last time for movie and now, he’s on the move again.
At first he asked me out for dinner and later, he changed his mind and asked me out for movie as well. Well, I didn’t see him for almost 3 months since he was not working in the same department as mine.
Haha…to be honest, I was quite jealous when I saw a girl’s photo in his phone. I was quite but not extreme. Haha.. I guess, I just have the habit of looking into someone’s phone photos. I would never thought that I would be that jealous and … tested him whether he has gf. He said NO.. I was quite not convinced when he said so until my ex-colleagues been telling me the same.
Guess what? He is quite a recommendable by my friends.
So, I’ve decided to go out, at least this time. He has been in contact for the past months. At 1st, through smsses then later on.. emails. And recently online chatting but of course, he has been busy and never really got the chance to have a proper chatting session with him. Also partly due to my early sleeps that disrupted our conversation.Haha.. yeah..I loves to sleep early.
erm… his parents are in town. this is why he ddin’t ask me out for date this week and even me. I don’t know what’s gone wrong! Years ago, I would yearn to be with someone and now, I don’t have the “fire” since my failed relationship with De De. Is it too fast for me to move on? Took me almost 3 years to let go Anthony which I thought that I could be with De De.
And that too, also a brief relationship. We aren’t compatible and most of all, he has so many flaws that I could take it. He made it even worst when he said something nasty to me a day before 2009.
He has destroyed my New Year 2009 and I thought, I would have a bad year ahead of me.
For me, I don’t like to have bad incidences when I face a whole new damn year… and he did it!! I can’t forgive him and certainly quite sure that he is not the one. Even my ex-colleagues been telling me. At times, I still misses him quite alot whenever I’m in Gardens/Mid Valley. Those places we went to… but, I have to forget him for the moment he uttered the words out of his mouth.
Gosh,… I don’t want to destroy my sleep as well.. he is past and present and there are things still ahead of me.
As for me, I’m just back from Raub.
Went back and saw my Yi Po and she is so like my late grandmama. Misses her so much until I saw my Yi Po like my own grandmama. Haha.. and she has my grandmama’s behaviour and even the way she talks.
I felt like the burden has lifted off my shoulder after I prayed my grandmama. It’s been months since I prayed her.
I will be going back Raub this new year for.. probably 3 days 2 nights. I am really looking forward for this trip…
Erm.. I’m again spending time at Starbucks instead of going back to house immediately after Yoga classes.. 
Since the weather is so sunny today and the temperature at home definitely high.. rather than wasting my mother’s money in electricity, I better stay at Garden’s starbucks.. haha.. at least, the only place where I can never sweat.
I am planning to take my younger sister to go out to watch THE SPIRIT. I wanted to watch that movie since last month. I didnt know it has started premier this month… haha.. probably I will watch in Kepong.
Actually I booked 2 tickets for me and De De to watch but he has mood swing and so, I’ve changed my mind. So.. I’m asking my sister to watch instead. Haha.. 
I’m just too tired entertaining him.
Neway.. I’m about to leave starbucks liao. It’s been 2 hours spent here chatting with Lew whom I know from facebook. Haha… ciao…
What a gloomy day but I still go out for Yoga class..
Hehe… I went to Hot Stretch for beginners and I dont sweat at all.. but I felt so good to my back bones.. although abit aching – lack of exercise for the past 4 weeks.
I hardly go yoga classes after I was infected with coughs and I’ve suffered from the sickness for more than 2 weeks! Twould be before I left MAA lor.
Then after that, I was damn busy arranging timing for de de but somehow things didnt get well between us and now I back to single and lonely.
I would rather be alone than forcing myself to be with someone.. hahaha…
I had the longest ever conversation with Chai for the past 1 year plus! Haha.. basically we were talking about my experience working in d company and also his histories..
Never been so accessible to him before but now.. after I’m no longer his client.. we are more like friends. Hehe..
It is fun to talk to him.. at least for a moment that I could forget about someone that refused to talk to me earlier in the afternoon.. hate him for doing that to me and now, I am refusing to talk to him! Let him feel how I felt this afternoon!
Talking to someone older is different experience…
Talking to someone who is younger seems very implusive.. always on the lose to lose its temper! Hate that… for no reason I had to suffer for 2 days.. probably my last toleration for me in him…
Gosh.. and feeling abit weird to see my blog snowing! Haha.. amazing!
Neway, I had an arguement with de de yesterday.
I don’t know why I felt so sensitive yesterday and everything he does will make me feel upset.
Plus, he invited his friend to have dinner with us without getting my approval. I’ve already told him that I’m not ready to be introduced to his friends.. I’m just not ready!!!
Furthermore, I am feeling like a sister to him rather than a friend lor. I don’t know know how I am feeling right now with him but am very sure, very upset with his doing.
There are alot of things that I am not satisfied with.. just take yesterday as an example. He didn’t even call nor sms me ! Is this normal???
Yes. now he sound quite serious in his confession of his love to me lor.
This afternoon only vowed and determined that he is not the one for me but somehow my heart is feeling something for him despite his imperfections for me…
This is somehow 2 times he showed his love to me.
I would like to believe what he has told me but I’m just unsure, uncertainty about his feelings for me.. because I just know him for about a month.
Thing goes too fast for me. It’s hard for me to breath!
I’ve been single for more than 2 years after what Anthony has done to me…
Should I be able to back to myself.. to believe in relationship?
